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What day is it? Will we ever go back to the office? When can I have brunch again? If I kill my husband, would I get away with it? All of these questions seem to linger as we enter week whatever of quarantine.

Thankfully, the planets and stars have heard our bored cries and want us to make the most of the weekend. Sure, we aren’t allowed to leave our homes and the government is ticketing people who do, but that’s no excuse not to have fun, right?! You can still have fun inside.


You’re gonna feel super ambitious this weekend, Aries, which is hilarious given the current living situation we’re all in. Make the most of it by tackling a DIY project you’ve been putting off. Or, the more adult thing to do: getting started on your taxes. On Sunday you’re going to feel somewhat stir crazy, so head outside for a jog, walk, or slow run around the ‘hood. Just don’t pet any dogs that aren’t yours or get within 6 feet of, well, anything.


You’re going to want to let all that pent-up sexuality out this weekend, Taurus. If you’re quarantining with bae, turn up the romance on Friday night with some delicious local restaurant delivery and a good movie followed by some nice, slow, sexy time and continue it into Saturday morning. Sh*t, make some pancakes and hang out in your pajamas all day, too. If you’re single, try and channel that aggression into a sexy solo mission Friday night, then attack a creative project come morning.


Friday night will be about you, and Saturday and Sunday will be about everyone else, Gemini. Use Friday night to take a good, hard look at how you’re handling the whole quarantine situation. Are you anxious? Stressed? Take a breath and take care of yourself with a bath, good book, great porn, home-cooked meal—whatever. Saturday and Sunday are all about harmony with the most important folks in your life, so call mom and dad, talk to your besties, and do your best to form actual connections with other people, even if it’s over FaceTime.


Time to get selfish, Cancer. Honestly, though, you spend a lot of time taking care of everyone else, and this weekend needs to be about you. So whether you spend Friday night on your couch with your phone off, or Saturday eating half your quarantine snacks, or any part of the weekend crying over your quarantine 15, know that it’s important to make it all about you. And if you want to order a party pack of tacos from Taco Bell, just f*cking do it.


The Sagittarius moon is making your creative juices flow, so use the weekend to do something fun and artsy fartsy. Break out the watercolors or sketching pencils you haven’t used since 8th grade on Saturday, or express yourself through some culinary sh*t like a cake that requires more than two steps and didn’t come in a box.



It’s all about being introspective this weekend, Virgo. It doesn’t mean you have to sit on the couch and think about your feelings through Saturday and Sunday, though. Try reading a book you ignored in high school or writing a stream of consciousness about your time in quarantine. Once you get sick of that, try having a long, hard think about what to have for dinner.


You’re going to feel the need for all kinds of communication throughout the weekend, Libra. This could be a great time to turn off Screen Time on your phone. It’ll just be embarrassing for you later. If you’re quarantined with your significant other, take the weekend to really, like, talk. Not so much about the ‘rona or our jackass president, but about your thoughts, feelings, and what you miss most about the old, normal world.


Friday’s moon is gonna have you feeling super confident, so make sure to update your dating profile and swipe until your fingers fly off. Get those sweet, sweet video dates, sis. Saturday you’ll want to take a look at your finances, which, in these scary times, definitely demand some attention. It’s not the best time to be ordering more loungewear, just saying.


You’re going to be at your best all weekend, Sagittarius. Don’t let quarantine dull your sparkly personality. Host a group FaceTime happy hour with your besties on Friday night as an excuse to get trashed. On Saturday, head out on a long walk—like, three miles or more—to get the stank of being locked in an apartment for four days off of you. On Sunday, get a head start on a work project since your head will be in the game. Plus, it won’t hurt for your boss to see you take a little initiative.


You’re going to crave some alone time, Capricorn, and we’re in sort of the perfect situation for it. You’re so #blessed. In keeping with all things solitude, tell your quarantine buddy (if you have one) that you’re not talking to them for at least 24 hours. It’ll be super fun for everyone. Then. sleep in super late Saturday, order takeout and eat it in bed, and just generally lounge around. You live for this sh*t.


If we were allowed out, you’d be all over the social scene this weekend, Aquarius. Since we’re stuck in our current predicament, try a social distancing get-together (like yelling at each other from your fire escapes or driveways) on Friday or Saturday night. On Sunday, try video chatting with someone you don’t normally see, like a cousin that you always text or your DM bestie.


The planets are pushing you to travel, Pisces. Since that’s not, uh, possible to do at the moment, maybe try going for a short drive around town or outside a bit. On Sunday, check in on your creative life and how you feel about that sh*t these days. Sure, dropping it all feels appealing, but it probably won’t pan out in the long run. Look for side gigs in your spare time, or start an Etsy store or something. You’ve got nothing to lose.

Images: Toa Heftiba / Unsplash; Giphy (12)

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