If being what my grandmother calls a “youth” has taught me one thing, it’s that delayed gratification ain’t worth sh*t. Call me crazy, but if there is something wrong with getting what I just decided I wanted with free two-day shipping, then I don’t want to be right! Obviously, Amazon is the holy grail of online shopping 365 days a year, but the one time it really comes in handy is during the holidays.
A modern nightmare: I have a dinner date with a friend in a few days and last night, she texted to confirm and then she sent a follow-up text, “You’re going to love your gift!” My first thought was “Yes! I love presents!” and my second thought was “F*ck, now I have to get this bitch a present.” Even though a small part of me hates spending money on people who aren’t myself, I was pretty happy to order her gift and have it wrapped and ready for her three days later for our dinner-turned-gift-exchange.
If you, too, hate waiting, here are ten of our favorite gifts to shop on Amazon. If you order in the next two days, you can get free delivery by 12/24.
1. Amazon Fire Stick, $24.99
One thing my 90-year-old grandmother and I have in common is that neither of us understands technology, like, at all. Take this Fire Stick, for example, which, after using it this weekend, seems like it was designed for idiots people like me. It’s a skinny remote control and a USB that plugs into the side of your TV. It works exactly like an HDMI cord, except no one will trip over it and you don’t have to have your laptop open and simultaneously playing whatever you’re trying to watch on your TV.
2. Slip Queen Silk Pillowcase, $85
I am the type of person who gets the generic version of literally everything because I don’t want to spend money on the name brand stuff, but this Slip pillowcase is my one exception because it’s that good. First of all, it’s soft af. Secondly, unlike cotton, silk doesn’t absorb your expensive nighttime skin care. Lastly, it always feels cool to the touch, which, if you run hot (hi), is a blessing.
3. Aquis Microfiber Towel, $20.99
A few weeks ago, a friend was telling me about this amazing towel for your hair and, whaddya know, I was seeing its sponsored posts on my Instagram feed later that day. As creeped out as I am by technology that has no respect for boundaries, I bought and used this Aquis towel. Let me just say, it’s not just a towel. There’s something about microfiber that makes it insanely absorbent without tugging your scalp. I leave this bad boy in for like, 15 minutes while I put on my makeup and when I take it off, my hair is basically dry.
4. KODAK Luma Pocket Projector, $199.99
If your bedroom is like mine, it’s white and boring af. This little guy changes that! You can watch movies, stalk your office crush, and mindlessly scroll Instagram from the comfort of your own bed, which may sound like what you usually do, but this is different because it’s projected on your ceiling. For reference, the iPhone 11’s screen is six inches long and two inches wide. The choice is yours.
5. WOLF Caroline Travel Case, $60.79
This is one of those things I really want but would never actually spend $60 on because I’m cheap. Even though I don’t really go anywhere, I go to my hometown for nearly every holiday, which is enough travel to warrant a travel case for all of my jewels (one ring, my watch and a few pairs of earrings). This is the kind of gift everyone would appreciate.
6. Pasta Grannies, $26.99
I do not fancy myself a chef, but I do f*cking live for pasta, and I love it even more when I don’t have to pay New York prices for it. Luckily, none of the recipes in this cookbook are Top Chef-level complicated, so even if your Secret Santa uses her oven to store her sweaters, she’ll be able to nail a few of these recipes.
7. Skylety Champagne Flutes, $12.99
One thing I love is the amount of cups in the world. There is literally a designated cup for every type of beverage and I’m all for it. Even though I stan a beer chalice, I love a good Champagne flute. These ones are amazing because they’re insulated, and because nothing is less appetizing than flat, warm Champagne, these are good to have on-hand.
8. Navawo Fingerless Gloves, $13.99
While fingerless gloves do seem completely useless in theory, gloves with fingers are horrible. Contrary to popular belief, you’ll be pretty warm in fingerless gloves and you’ll be able to use your phone’s touchscreen while avoiding your coworkers on the subway.
9. Image Skincare Vital C Hydrating Facial Cleanser, $30
Not only does this cleanser smell amazing, it makes your skin look and feel like you just got a hydration. Seriously, use this day and night for a week and you will legit notice a difference. It doesn’t leave your skin feeling tight or dry, but rather, supple and moisturized.
10. Rifle Paper Co. 2020 Planner
Most of my friends LOL at the fact that I still use planners even though I graduated from college four years ago, but I don’t give a sh*t because I love them. This one is especially nice because it’s not aggressively decorated or enormous, but it’s big enough that you can actually fit all your appointments and sh*t in it. Get this for your friend who double books and everyone else in your group will thank you.
Images: Kira Auf der Heide / Unsplash; Amazon (10)
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